Dear Society:

I am a bearer of children and, therefore, 
a creator of the future. 

My compassion, love, and guidance helps to develop the leaders, heroes and mothers of tomorrow.

I am a counselor, chauffeur, chef.

I am a nurse, a librarian, an educator.

I am a historian, and art collector, a musician.

I am a cheerleader, financial planner, and maid.

I am a seamstress, wash lady, and I crochet.

I am a wife.  I am a mother. I am a Mormon. I am woman.

And there are not words to express my joy in being.

Tell me that part again...the one where my religion oppresses me?

And that, because of my children, I'm missing out on a more fulfilling lifestyle? 

Sincerely,

Me 

Catch up? Haha :) That would take hours, and my bedtime was 4 minutes ago :)

So much has happened since my last post, and I keep thinking that life is going to slow down, and I will have massive amounts of time to do whatever I want...like blog! ha. Not happening so far.

I have had loads of fun and excitement this summer with a trip to my big sis's wedding in Seattle; camping and hiking with my lil fam; some precious time spent with the in-laws in June, then a not-so-happy trip back to the in-laws to say farewell to my mom-in-law; went to Star Valley just last week to see my lil bros and sister, and had some awesome catch-up time with my dear cousin Terynn; took all the kiddos swimming at Bear Lake; am in the middle of teaching my 2nd set of workshops at the theater; AAAAND Delia started pre-school!!! GAH! Welcome to my crazy summer. lol

I was doing some reading and studying for my talk this Sunday and came across this gem by Prophet Joseph F. Smith, I think from 1911. Played with the fonts a little bit, and printed it out to frame as an everyday reminder. It hit me really hard. I get angry way too often. I'm not as kind as I should be. I don't sigh and let it go enough. I yell too much. I forget that patience is a virtue...and a necessary one to be a great mother. I know some of my issues are learned behaviors, stemming from the way my parents treated me, but I also believe in my ability to change myself, to create new and improved methods of living and reacting. My goal is to memorize this, so that I can repeat it to myself instead of getting angry. Love. There is no replacement. And there is no excuse.

Dinner. I know, right? I'm blogging about dinner?!

Ok, don't be disappointed, but I wasn't planning on blogging after dinner ABOUT dinner, so I didn't take any pics. I'll try to be better about that :)

I'm only blogging about it because it turned out AMAZINGLY and I don't want to forget it. I usually make up a good portion of most of my meals, so they're hard to recreate. I need to get it all down on paper....er....blogger....before I forget :)

Step 1: Put 3-4 inches of water onto boil (I used a big soup pot)

Step 2: Peel and dice potatoes, be sure to cut out any weird stuff (I had 5 smallish ones)

Step 3: Dump potatoes in water, boiling or not.

Step 4: Add a few shakes of seasoning salt and a tablespoon or so of an Italian herbs mix

Step 5: Add a packet of Lipton's Onion Soup mix.

Step 6: While all of that boils until the potatoes are tender, pour 3-4 tablespoons of apple juice in a skillet and turn on high.

Step 7: Cut up a dinner sausage into 1/2 inch rounds, then quarter them (Hillshire Farm Beef Polska Kielbasa...I only had half of one, quartering them makes them stretch farther...)

Step 8: Drop sausage pieces into apple juice, cook until apple juice boils down to a sticky sauce and sausage is crispy. Remove from heat

Step 9: In a blender, blend together 1-2 cups of the boiling potato soup and a brick of cream cheese. Pour back into the pot.

Step 10: Add sausage.

Step 11: Start adding potato flakes until it reaches a desired consistency (I like mine fairly thick, I think it took a little over a cup of flakes. Remember it will thicken as it cools, too)

Step 12: Dish up. Add a little grated Cheddar for garnish and taste, and VOILA!!! :D Dinner is served :)

Pool party with the sibs!

I called my dad last week to ask if they wanted to come play in the pool and see our new place. Ironically enough, they were wanting to come down to a close friend's mother's funeral in Alpine, about 40 min southeast. So I encouraged them to come stay the night on Wednesday and leave the kids with me on Thursday while they went to the funeral. They did just that, and we had a blast!!

I was really sad when my little bro Aaron didn't come because of some school event/trip. Can't blame him, but I was disappointed he didn't come. That kid is AWESOME!! He is so smart and funny, and just fun to be around :) He just turned 14, which kills me, because I still have vivid memories of mothering him as a baby, helping him learn to walk and toddle along... lol Not saying that I don't have those memories with all the other kiddos too....they are all really incredible little people and it's just plain WEIRD to see them growing up a little more every time we're together. Being able to spend time and give some love to Daniel (16 next month), Samuel (12) and Katherine (10 next week!) was uber fun though!!! We hung out til late morning and went to the pool for a good hour, came back and ate pizza, then went to the pool for a couple more hours :) Did I mention I'm addicted? lol

Back from the pool, it was funny to hear the doorbell ring and open it to, not only my parents, but my little sister Melissa's "significant other". lol We were expecting him, of course, but the timing was impeccable! It was a fun "meet the parents/siblings" evening, complete with "Apples to Apples" (the game), lasagna, and a great spinach salad creation (sauteed-then-cooled zucchini, yellow squash and purple onion, glazed with honey, and fresh red peppers, tossed with spinach and a poppyseed dressing. YUM!)

Dealt with the anticipated break-down after everyone left, when Delia bawled about her Uncle Daniel leaving. lol She loves him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. I know it might make her other 10 uncles sad that she is so vocal about Daniel holding that title (and he wears it proudly, believe me...lol) but what do you do? Delia is pretty sure the answer is that Daniel needs to live with us so she can play with him EVERY day. I tried talking him into it, buuuuuuut....he does kinda have a life where he's at now :) I did talk to my dad about having Katherine and Samuel come stay for a couple weeks this summer, and it seemed pretty likely! I would sure love to have them around, and could use some babysitting help too! Hopefully that works out. Well, I'll get some pics on here to top it off, then maybe later on I can tell the rest of the story....lol Curious?! Stay tuned!!!! ;)

First post from HERRIMAN!!!

Okay, first of all, I have to say how pleasantly surprised I am. I absolutely LOVE my apartment! I guess I had sort of resolved to just "deal with it", and knew I was going to be cramped and claustrophobic. We lost about 400 sq ft and a garage moving here. However, I really can't get over how quickly we settled in, found a place for everything, and how "at home" I feel. Loving it! The floor plan is nice and open, we have a patio so the girls can play "outside" without me having constant supervision(yes!), the hallway is really wide, main bath is HUGE, AND I have a master bath (HALLELUJAH!), the girls' walk-in-closet doubles as a "play room", and with them being in a bunk bed now, the rest of their room has plenty of play space! As far as my little kitchen goes...yes, my pantry is smaller, but it's not going to get cluttered with "stuff", just because there IS space there. My favorite thing though? It's never taken more than 10 min to clean, and that's including doing dishes. MAJOR PLUS. I felt like I was forever cleaning my kitchen at our old place! More space means more places to stack/pile randomness, which all the sudden becomes these big, overwhelming mountains. lol. So no more of that! Let me see if I can figure out some pics here.....although, if you've seen my facebook, most of these are on there :) OH!! And did I mention that I am completely ADDICTED to our pool?!! LOL I'd say it's the best feature of our entire new lifestyle :) Already not looking forward to winter because we spend SO much time there! We're all looking nice and tan :) got some funky lines going on, but whatever. It's worth it :D So that's it for this post :) Have lots more to write about, but it'll have to wait. Hubby went on an all-day hike with his bro, took some AMAZING photos....I'll have to see if I can get some up here tomorrow....anyway, he's exhausted, so I'd better call it a night, too. Still got dinner dishes to do. I'll try to write some more tomorrow....have our very first get-together with some new friends tomorrow! Excited to do that part of "settling in" :) That's all for now! Later!

Hello 1 am :) So good to see you again! psht.

I know I should be in bed....tomorrow is going to be a long day. But my mind is going a billion miles an hour over this moving business. Thinking of all the things I need to do, vs. all the things I want to do, and where in the WORLD am I going to find time to do "that"?! :) I hope all of this planning and work that goes into a yard sale pays off :P I've decided to sell the girls' beds and get them a bunk. The rooms that we're moving into are smaller, and we're already wall-to-wall with all of their "stuff". It's funny the problem-solving that goes into just a little thing like this. I first decided just to move Afifa to a toddler bed because her crib is so big....it's one with a changing table attached with drawers and shelves. Then I thought, hey, maybe they make beds that are just a top bunk? Quick google search and, voila! Loft beds! So then I thought, Great! We'll get a loft bed and put the toddler bed underneath! But if you know me, I rarely pay full price for anything, and I wasn't finding a good selection of 2nd-hand loft beds. More people are selling bunk beds. So I thought, why not? I can just put a safety rail up for Afifa, Delia would love a top bunk, and there we go! So that's the plan. I can't believe I'm going to put my 17 month old on the bottom of a bunk bed. LOL It's hard to think of her as not even 2 yet, because she is insanely advanced right now. She repeats back most everything I say to her, she is BEGGING to be potty trained (she asks about 5 times a day to sit on the potty and I'm totally resisting with the move and everything), she follows instructions perfectly, most of the time I only have to show her something once and she is a pro, she feeds herself, she makes up songs....seriously. And it's hard for me not to expect too much from her, because she is so bright. I expect her to NOT get into my makeup drawer every. single. day. (Today it was RIP to my favorite tube of lipstick....the other day it was my eyeshadow) I expect her NOT to pull the wipes out of the container every. chance. she. gets. I expect her to stay out of the neighbor's dirt....what's wrong with ours?! lol But I have to stop myself, because what I start to expect is perfection. From my 1 year old. And if I don't keep my perspective straight (she is ONLY 1), then I turn into a punisher, not a teacher. Not even a disciplinarian. Just a punisher. And I hate myself when I get that way. Wow. I'm way too honest with myself this late at night. Hmmmm. Better not make a habit out of it :) But hey! It's me. Going to bed now. Missing my honey. Glad he's home tomorrow night to snuggle me! Here's a pic of my lil bug Afifa! Complete with wings from Aunt Jillayne ;)

I Confess.

As I have been packing up my house for yet another move (number 7 in the last 6 years), I find myself reflecting on this idea of a "start over" in the game of life. I live a charmed life, it's true. Happily married to my bestest friend, two amazing little people I'm honored to have call me "mommy", a great support system of friends and family, and a pretty good grasp on what life is all about. But knowing that last tidbit, and having it reflect constantly in my actions...I struggle. I yell too much. I'm short-tempered. I'm disagreeable over things that don't matter. I let meaningless details distract me from the "big picture". My biggest, and most destructive, downfall is stretching myself too thin. I think I do it to feel needed. But that doesn't make sense either, because WHAT or WHO could need love and gentleness and attention more than the man who works his life away to support and provide, or a couple little souls who need constant nourishment for their incredible minds, beautiful (and energetic....ha!)bodies, and sweet, sweet spirits? I've said "No, I'm busy" way more often than I've said "Yes, I'd love to do that for/with you". I've spent more time on the computer than I have loving my children on purpose. I say on purpose, because it's easy to confuse the routine "I do this because I love you" with "I do this because it's my duty"...change diapers, fix meals, get them dressed, take them with me on errands, make it to a park occasionally, get out the paper and crayons so they can draw pictures...But to actually spend TIME with my babies, doing things to teach them, stimulate their growth....this is going to be new for me. I want to play dress-up and make-believe. I want to draw WITH them. I want to teach them songs. How to tie shoelaces. Build something with legos. Be crafty. I'm not going to knock myself too hard, because I know it's a process. Evaluate, change. Evaluate, change some more. Climb higher. Tweak the steps to reach the goal. SET goals. So that is where I'll start. Goals. My goal is to be happy. Because if I can be happy, I can make those around me happy. And if there was one word that I'd like people to describe me in at the end of my life, it would be "She was happy". Not the fake-it-til-ya-make-it kind, or short-lived...but the kind that makes me want to burst. Eyes sparkle. The kind that makes my family want to be near me, because my happiness is infectious. There are a lot of changes that need to happen in order for this to be achieved, but the biggest, and hardest decision is made. That is to focus. Focus on my role as mommy over everything else. It's a hard thing to give up making money. Give up helping to monetarily support our family. But honestly, that is the last "support" we need to worry about, because I know with all of my heart that we are not in this alone. I hold to the promise that the Lord takes care of His own. And I want nothing more than to be just that. His own. I know what He expects of me, and I know what to expect in return. An easy life, right? lol Hardly. It's when life gets hard that I realize how much I matter to Him. He is only trying to mold me into the best me I can be. And sometimes it hurts. I also know that what he expects of me is not necessarily what he expects of any other person. That is why He is the Judge, and we are not. He can see the "big picture", where, even if we get a glimpse, we generally only have the capacity to see where we fit in, or our small circle on influence. Trust. Trust in the Lord, and be still. As far as a list goes for the goal setting, it looks something like this: 1) Close my teaching studio. 2) Quit facebook. It's an illusion, making me think I matter to all these different people, when really I'm ignoring the people who matter the most. It's mindless, addicting, and I have too much of a tendency to try to be what others think I should be, instead of being true to myself. I take full blame for this. It's a personality flaw. lol. But facebook fosters it. 3) Meal plan. Food makes the world go 'round :) I know it's a far-fetched dream, but I dream for mealtime to be an exciting, wonderful time of day, every time. Not go into panic mode when the kids start saying they're hungry and you realize they need food NOW, because they're already cranky, and there is no time to whip up a masterpiece in the next 5 minutes. Peanut butter and jelly it is. 4) Laugh with my kids every single day and show them I love them in everything I do. 5) Wake up before my kids. That way I'm ready for them :) 6) Exercise. There is just no excuse not to do this. Especially when I still have a napper. I will feel better, be stronger, and function better at everything I do. My body loves exercise, and with all the things I do to it, the least I can do is give back by exercising. And that is where I'll end this little post of mine...since it's almost 2am! lol Hubby is gone on a canoe trip. First night without him is always the hardest to crawl into that bed alone :( I'm expecting a lot out of myself, starting this blog again. But I feel confident that I'll actually keep up on it this time. Big changes happening! :D